People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
