May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
