I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
third nipple confirmed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
