I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
