Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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