i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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