I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
