I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
