$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
