Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
