well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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