yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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