the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
