my sisters under your porch take her home
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Who died my cat blue again?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
