I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
