apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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