yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
