as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Randomize
