i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
