Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
