Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize