i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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