i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
