I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
