so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
