everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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