I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
