Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
