Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize