Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
