Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

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(818): View more from California

Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.

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(+81): View more from

Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted

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(719): View more from Colorado

Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?

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(720): View more from Colorado

All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.

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(727): View more from Florida

I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.

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