I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
