That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
