This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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