how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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