All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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