Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
