i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
