see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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