You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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