who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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