so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
