I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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