This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
