some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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