this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
