worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
