So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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