Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i came on her dog
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
