I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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