Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize