And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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