Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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