I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
