your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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