She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
