I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
