Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
