He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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