marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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