Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
