You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
