tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
