im drinking this country out of the recession.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
